You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:

• FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.
• PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong buttons.
• TIRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated.
• HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their arse.
• SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.
• WEB PAGES: Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.
• TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.
• EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.
• HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.
• THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying.

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