Stuff you'd like to say out loud!

• My cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
• Ah... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
• And your whiny, cry-baby opinion would be...?
• Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
• Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
• Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
• Do I look like a people person?
• Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
• How about never? Is never good for you?
• How do I set a laser printer to stun?
• I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
• I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
• I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.
• I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
• I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
• I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
• I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
• I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
• If I throw a stick, will you leave?
• I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
• I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
• I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
• I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
• I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
• I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.
• It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
• Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
• Oh I get it... like humor... but different.
• Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
• Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
• The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're a genius.
• This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
• Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
• Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
• You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.